"You're gonna be in a great mood all day because you're gonna be slapping your troubles away!"
With this first quotable gem, some guy named Vince introduces a product, that may or may not be real, called the Slap Chop. This 3:10 informercial advertises a dicer that is also apparently easy to clean and, for some reason, does not need the chef to change blades. It also comes with a free twisting cheese grater fantastically called the "Graty."
Like I said before, I can't tell if this is actually real, but it doesn't matter because Vince is a web star now. Among others, the following would o great on a t-shirt:
"One slap: salad!" (Although I don't know of any salads that consist of a baby carrot, celery, and a radish.)
"Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life."
"You're gonna love my nuts."
"It pops open like that, like a butterfly, to clean."
"The onions, with the skin: this is making you cry, it's making me cry. Life is hard enough as it is; you don't want to cry anymore."
"We're gonna make America skinny again, one slap at a time." (Make America skinny by...making it easier to eat more food???)
"Tacos, fettuccini, linguini, martini, bikini" (Mmm...cheesy martini's and swimsuits. Congrats, Vince, you can rhyme!)
There are other parodies of this ad but I personally think the original is funny enough as it is! I don't think I've been this entertained by a product since the days of the Magic Bullet!
Sergio del Limónar
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